Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Let Me Tell You About Scott Brown

I know Scott Brown. I grew up with Scott Brown.

Scott Brown was so hammered at my wedding, he didn't remember a half-hour after the reception that we'd had a band. When I asked him if "Scott Brown for Senate" was for real, he replied, "Why not, Ted's liquor cabinet is probably still in his office."

A few weeks ago, after Scott Brown was endorsed by the Boston Herald, Scott Brown responded to me in in an email with,

I deeply appreciate the Herald’s endorsement and am committed to turning Massachusetts around. As a sign of my commitment I am calling for the immediate abolition of the state tax code and the Red Sox.

Furthermore, the state song will be Boston’s ‘Foreplay’, I-95 will be known as the Dead Kennedys Expressway and Larry Bird can expect to be governor for life. Except he moved away… because this place sucks.

Please join me in this journey to a better Massachusetts.

I've got so much dirt on Scott Brown, I could have landed a multi-million dollar deal out of the MSNBC yahoos if I'd called them before the election.

(Of course, I wouldn't have told them until after I cashed the check that I'm talking about an entirely different person named Scott Brown, but...)

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