Thursday, March 5, 2009


Sometimes this gig really is as easy as, Fish, Barrel, Bang. For instance, the UK Guardian's crusade du jour is against... toilet paper.

A campaign by Greenpeace seeks to raise consciousness among Americans about the environmental costs of their toilet habits and counter an aggressive new push by the paper industry giants to market so-called luxury brands.


The campaigning group says it produced the guide to counter an aggressive marketing push by the big paper product makers in which celebrities talk about the comforts of luxury brands of toilet paper and tissue.

I would like to personally thank Greenpeace and the Guardian for supplying myself and other bloggers with the opportunity to make fun of any celebutards who go out there and campaign against toilet paper. I mean, the posts will write themselves: "If you thought Sean Penn's movies stink, just wait until you hear this..."

And, of course, there is one major figure in American popular culture who will not take kindly to losing his T.P.:

Beware the wrath, lefties. Beware. The. Wrath.


  1. Considering that Guardian publishes a newspaper, I can certainly see why they would be against toilet paper manufacturers. I mean, they are in direct competition - except that the paper Guardian sells is not nearly as soft and has some kind of words printed on it.

  2. How could I have forgotten the great Cornholio as part of my wrap? The streets will flow with the blood of the unbelievers.